Purveyors of FINE JUICE made from weeds
Ground to a pulp in my van…
Over many years, my family and I have perfected the art of pressing artisanal juices from the weed(s) that we hand pick by the side of the highway: dandelion flower, nettles, ginger root, turmeric, mugwort (for dreams), wild strawberries and other bounty from Mother Nature’s generous teat. When our precocious daughter had her first taste of our prototype nectar, she spit it in my face saying, “This sh*t tastes like mix of crud and pond scum!” And so the name Scrummm™ came to be! We hope that you will enjoy our whole line of healthy adult beverages specially formulated from the sustainable goodness of weed.
MaKE YourSELF A Masterpiece
Improve your Life with Less Hassle
The Driver Method is a whole-life system for improving your wellbeing without all the heavy lifting. Waldemar Driver, C.S.A., knows all the tricks for turning an unknown self into a wünderkind-at-heart wonder. Our tools for promoting your inner child to COO of your metaphysical conglomerate:
- Market Research- Van has years of experience making people feel better, and knows how to appeal to all of our senses. Our community will determine which tools are most likely to improv your quality of life, and will help guide your lifestyle on that journey.
- Identification Production- The community specializes in storyboarding, staging, designing, directing, and editing your inner world into busby Berkeley style music number filled with mermaids, synchronized swimming and sparklers. We’ll work with you to craft a life that appeals to your sensibilities while staying true to your artistic vision.
- Consultation- When you’re ready to live freer, laugh louder and love more intimately, Our family’s expert advisers will help you do it right. We’ll help select optimal enjoyment rations, negotiate with your inner child, determine ticket prices, and promote your new personality to your family and friends. We’re committed to maximizing spiritual and emotional turnout while minimizing effort.
Fan Support
Helping Us Help You!
Dying to come to life? We can help you:
- Find yourself – Where do you last remember having yourself? We offer detailed information on times, locations, and finding parking at places where you might have misplaced your true self.
- Be Your Favorite You – Our meditations lovingly crafted by our personal physician Dr. Schüler, let you listen to centering words and dulcet tones of mystical and intellectual messages to lift your spirits, open your mind and glue your ass to the grass. From thoughtful poetry to manifested behavior, you can follow along as he helps to change your mind, gently washing it, folding it and placing it in neat piles around your thoughts.
- Follow the Latest Trends – Our site allows you to follow our family and friends, live vicariously through our shared adventures and see what we’re doing when we think no one is watching. With Scrummm.com, you’ll never miss a moment.
