Author: Van Driver

Meet The family

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Hi, I’m Waldemar Wolfgang “Van” Driver, I’m an environmental evangelist, human rights advocate, inventor, poet and juice mogul. Since 1975 I’ve been perfecting a special blend of herbs and weeds, rhizomes, mycelia, berries and branches in the form of a naturally sparkling beverage we like to call Scrummm! My journey has taken me through cloud forests and sand dunes, but I am nearly ready to flood the world with my ambrosiac omnium gatherum.

Anne Ryder, my heart, my soul, my common-law wife and mother to our. Four beautiful daughters. More about her later.

Reignbeau Ryder, my stepdaughter, a brilliant lawyer for a capitalist conglomerate that’s part of the military industrial complex. It breaks our hearts that she has strayed so far from the values that our family tried to instill: faith, charity, altruistic hedonism, and entheogenic liberation. I truly wish her my sincerest, heartfelt wishes for health and happiness, and have eternal hope that she will return to us.

Cassaoepia, Anne and my oldest daughter together. She’s currently attending Savantmore, our homeschool university, where she’s double majoring in Astralphysics and Chemistry.

Cleome, our middle daughter, has just entered high school. We are worried she’s been over exposed to the world. She’s a self-proclaimed internet influencer who dresses up in costumes from cartoons that we’re sure she’s making up.

Odyssey, our youngest, named after the location of her conception, our Honda minivan. We love that vehicle almost as much as we love her. Both are fast and take turns well, but the minivan gets better mileage, since I converted it to electromagnetic pyramid power.

Tumbleweed, my spiritual son, we picked him up hitchhiking 25 years ago and we’ve been family ever since.

Peapod, Anne’s friend from the ashram.

Etymology of a name

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Spritz, Spume. Flume, and Spüta were all seriously considered… but when my daughter Reignbeau had her first sip of scrummm, she spit it in my face, screaming, “This crap tastes like a cross between crud and pond scum!” But she used a word that was stronger than crap. Note to self, you wrote it on another page somewhere, when you find it, delete it.

Reignbeau was a precocious child, but we loved her and we’re proud of her, whatever she may be doing these days. Reigndrop, if you’re reading this, your momma and I miss you and hope that you’re taking care of yourself. We applaud your courage in making your way in the world on your own and we want to give your your space, but if you ever miss us, we would love more than anything to hear your voice.

Reignbeau, incidentally, or accidentally got her name on her ninth birthday. She was born Ursula Macalastair Hutch, named for her grandmother on her biological father’s side, but she never cared for it and so Anne gave her the new name as a present. She asked the girl for some suggestions and chose the least offensive. The spelling was Reignbeau’s choice.

We believe that every person has four names. The first two are the names your parents give you. Then there’s your family name, the name your friends call you by, the name that you give yourself, there’s your religious name, and the name that your spirit animal guide uses to call you forth on the wild wind, also your dream name (that’s the name that you’re known by in the subconscious world) and your dream name (the one you long to be called by). Finally there’s the name that the universe has chosen for you. But the most visceral name is the one that comes from deep within the physical being, flooding out Upon our most intense emotions. That is the way name of Scrummm came to be.

When I’m dreaming am I really awake?

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It’s an ancient question and I can’t say that I have an answer for you, but I will say this. If I am really awake when I dream, lately I’m having some really messed up dreams…

Perhaps when I sleep, I’m seeing the vail of consciousness drawn away revealing all of the dimensions unfolded before us, like an origami crane flattened into a square, the creases, vestiges of what had been facing planes…

I love you

Posted on by Van Driver

A lot of people have a problem with this. And I don’t mean, because I love you in a creepy way. They have a problem with the concept of love. It’s too vulnerable. Isn’t it ironic that people have less of a problem with violence and death than they do with love? Death is the thing that they most fear. Americans hoard guns they’re so afraid of death and yet we embrace killing above intimacy. Why is that? I’m going to hazard a guess that it’s because love is equated with sex and sex implies a power struggle, because men are afraid that if they are seen as weak they will be deemed unsuitable for procreation and therefore won’t be able to fulfill the subconscious wishes of our DNA overlords.

Tips for Behter™ Writing

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This is where you give us money and we respond with good things for your belly and being. Unfortunately, at this time we are not taking donations. But check back often and soon you will be able to give us all your money and feel amazingly good about it. At this time, we are accepting cash and in-kind donations. Send a check, money order, or nonperishable gift to:

Scrummmcotm, 4326 South Harvard Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90062

What is a weed?

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“The Weed is a Paradox…”

Wascally and maybe wabid, but follow this fellow to find the freshest edible fruits.

Often it’s defined as a wild plant growing where it is not wanted, sometimes in competition with cultivated plants. But a weed is a paradox. With the help of my family, I pick the weed from the side of the road and press it into a delicious juice. So the unwanted becomes desired. Much like the shadow self that we lock in the basement of our minds. If we can release the shadow self and negotiate with it so that it doesn’t seek revenge because we held it prisoner, feeding it dog food – not even people food!!! Then and only then, we might learn to work with that part of our being to make space for the lessons it can teach us.